[one_half_last]Welcome to the Addiction Recovery Blog RoundUp for this week. The post focuses on codependency or secondhand addiction issues this week. I hope you find something helpful.
Why Wasn’t My Love Enough?
Jason Swartz has a post this week over at Addiction and Recovery News from a loved one’s perspective about addiction. It evokes some of the painful feelings that others feel surrounding a person’s addiction. The piece also addresses
a very common theme with loved ones, the [/one_half_last]idea that the can change the addiction, or fix the addiction, or that their love for the person should be enough.It is so hard in any given moment to remember the basic “Three C’s”: “You didn’t cause it, you can’t control it, and you can’t cure it.”
The Next ‘Right’ Thing – Building Your Arsenal Of Resources To Be Ready
Here is a good post about being prepared, one of the beliefs that I try to instill in clients. It is important to have a set of tools in your toolbox, people/places/things that you can automatically turn to for help and support. As MomShiningLight over at Parent Pathway talks about, this is especially critical when you are a parent struggling with a child who is struggling with addiction.
Another Step Forward/A Dysfunctional Family
If you are looking for ideas about how to do baby steps with someone who is struggling with addiction, Tori over at The Addict In My House has a few ideas. She also has a couple of paragraphs about codependency and enabling behavior which are important to read. But the most significant sentence in the whole post is: “Take the focus off of them and put it on you.” You MUST learn to do this when you are dealing with others who are struggling with addiction in order to maintain your own health.
We Are All In Recovery
Beth over at B Here Today often has thoughtful, mindful posts. Her focus this week is your recovery and the idea that we are all in recovery from something. Since my focus has been on codependency issues this week, I read her post in that light. The comment that struck me was: “Chances are you’ve been someone’s collateral damage.” When you are struggling with someone who is struggling with addiction issues, you are automatically someone else’s collateral damage. The question then becomes, what will you do with that damage. Carry it like a weight around your neck and let it bring you down? Drag it behind you like a load of manure on a tarp? Or will you choose to face it head on and refuse to let it take over your life? The good news is, as always, you get the choice.
Parents Of Struggling Kids: What Are You Tolerating?
Finally this week, a post from a parenting blog that we can take and apply to addiction and codependency issues. Leslie over at Phase 2 For You is writing about what we, as parents, are tolerating? Now she refers to relatively minor issues when compared to addiction. However, her most fabulous quote is: “…working on oneself when our kids are struggling winds up to be the best thing we can do for ourselves and our kids.” Now, what if we put that in the context of addiction and identify as the parent struggling with someone who is struggling with addiction. It puts that idea in a whole new light doesn’t it?
That’s is for this week. It’s supposed to be snowy here this weekend – stay warm!
If you or someone you love is struggling with addiction or codependency issues, Contact me today to arrange a free, no-obligation consultation to talk about how we can work together or find the right person for you.